The Donald Trump Bernie Sanders Debate- A work of fiction ahem

Opening Comments

Trump: Good Evening, I am running for President to make America great again for the silent majority. Those law abiding Americans who subscribe to the Amercan dream, who believe in capitalism and military power, and who believe in winning not in finishing second. I will deliver because I will bring with me to the White House the best, the brightest, and the most experienced. I have never ran for office, I do not have to appease the folks that lobby and who have given outlandish amounts to other failed candidates. Nobody can influence me other than what the American people want, and the silent majority that will vote me into office. Thank you.

Sanders: Good evening, I am running for President for the silenced majority, the middle class that has been silenced by the 1% of the Americans that control 80% of the wealth in this country. To make America not only great but prosperous the forgotten middle class has risen during this campaign and made its voice heard. The vocal minority made up of billionaires and Wall Street has tainted and dominated the democratic process. They have done this to maintain their double standard in this country of haves and have nots. There was a time the middle class had a chance at the American Dream but their chance these days of economic mobility is as slim as winning a million bucks in my opponent's casinos. Thank you.

Question: Can you explain your foreign policy?

Sanders: I will approach foreign policy from an economic perspective and not a militaristic first second third approach. We should not get involved in the Middle East period. We have wasted trillions in unwinnable wars that has led only to resentment of American intervention by all sides. The Middle East has to resolve its own problems and America should not be a part of the problem.

My foreign policy will concentrate on economics and failed trade deals that have created huge job losses for the middle class. These trade deals have also lowered our wages and standard of living as we are forced to compete with emerging economies and an unregulated labor force. These same trade deals has led America to trading with countries that place no value on the environment and the effects of unregulated industrialization. 

Trump: My Foreign Policy will not be isolationist. We have enemies that want to destroy us. Our problem has been we have a terrible strategy of who to attack and when. For example, I would destroy the oil fields that Isis is using to finance its war of debauchery and insanity. We have to be more strategic  when it comes to negotiating with thuggish and evil dictators. We should not make deals with our sworn enemies like Iran. Unlike my opponent I will increase military spending so that it will be a deterrent for any enemy country thinking of attacking America or our friends.

As for trade deals, the problem has been the morons we send out to negotiate these deals. Other countries recognize the importance of these deals and send out their best negotiators. We send out instead lifetime bureaucrats who probably couldn't get a deal on a used car. My business contacts and experience will allow me to pick out the cream of the crop to negotiate the right deals. America has lost manufacturing jobs to Mexico China etc. for that very incompetence. 

Question: Can you explain your immigration policy?

Trump: Illegal immigration is sapping the energy out of America. We have a porous border with Mexico and we have millions of undocumented illegals. Undocumented means we do not know who these people are? The Mexican government does not really care that they are leaving. We can easily assume a lot of these people are undesirables. Yes, some of them are rapists, some of them are murderers, some of them are gang members in the drug trade. Maybe some are good people. These porous borders have also let in undesirables from other countries including the Middle East.

I think the first priority is securing the border with Mexico. I would build a wall and I would force Mexico to pay for it. We have paid billions for their illegal immigrants through welfare, health costs, lost taxes etc. Any new trade deal with Mexico would include a discussion of securing the border. As for the illegal immigrants already in this country, I would be against a general amnesty. This is not fair to the legal immigrants that lawfully waited in line for many years to enter our great country.

Sanders: America has always been a country that welcomed immigrants. The statue of liberty symbolizes this. We should and must resolve this issue of undocumented workers most of them from Mexico. It is clear a majority of these people came to America to escape the poverty of our neighbouring country. I think an amnesty should be considered for these people. I disagree that a majority of these undocumented workers are undesirables and criminals. The problem we have is if they remain undocumented then we cannot separate the good from the bad. We simply cannot send back millions of people to Mexico and create a third world refugee situation. America has always welcomed immigrants with open arms not with walls.

To be continued...